


Mirage

by glitzyena



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Horror, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Utopia, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Blood, Blood and Injury, Descent into Madness, Dystopia, Eye Gouging, F/F, Horror, Kissing, Madness, Magic, Urban Fantasy, Utopia, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse, false reality, inspired by odd eye by dreamcatcher, it's not in detail i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitzyena/pseuds/glitzyena
Summary: Minju doesn’t bother filtering out the desperation in her voice when she speaks, practically begging her at this stage. “That place was killing you! We didn’t know it, but we were fucking dying, Yul!”“So what!?” Yuri spits at her, lips curled into a snarl, gaze sharp. “We’re dying here too,” she sweeps her hand around, a jagged movement, and gives Minju an expectant look. “You think we’re living? You call this living, Minju?”In which there is no Utopia.
Relationships: Jo Yuri/Kim Minju
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	Mirage

**Author's Note:**

> whooo so i did a poll on twt to see what ship i should write for, and minyul was the winner, so here we are! this story is inspired by odd eye by dreamcatcher, i've been listening to it sm recently and really wanted to write smth based off of it. now im not an insomnia, so im not all too familiar with theories and storylines and stuff, this is just what i saw on a surface level with the mvs with a LOT of creative leeway and tweaks to suit how i wanted this story to go. 
> 
> oh, and i threw zombies into the mix. cuz, why not?
> 
> [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/glitzyena)  
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/glitzyena)

**_HEDONISM_ **

_ Minju opens her eyes slowly, blinking to adjust to the light that streams into her pupils, squeezing them to pinpoints. She holds up a hand to shield them, at first overly-sensitive, but eventually becoming used to the sensation. The sunlight is warm on her skin, a feather-light touch that she welcomes, that feeling alone enough to make her smile.  _

_ She’s standing atop a hill, the grass freshly sprung beneath her feet and the soil soft against her soles, curling her toes into it. Flowers dot the landscape like someone had scattered a handful of gemstones through a clenched fist as if they were salt, soft petals gleaming and fluttering softly in the breeze.  _

_ It’s _ perfect. 

_ By the base of the hill is a lake that’s fed by a winding stream, the water perfectly clear and skipping over stones with childlike laughter, a soothing sound. It’s surrounded by a ring of sand, that the water laps at lazily, almost like a miniature beach. Crouched down in the sand, with her fingertips grazing the water’s glasslike surface, is Yuri. _

_ Yuri’s hair is long, a warm brown the colour of the soil, falling over her shoulders from where she’s leaning forward. She’s wearing a dress, layers and layers of white like a freshly frosted cake, Minju able to see the way her cheeks are dusted with rose from where she’s stood.  _

_ Minju descends from the top of the hill, and moves towards her, Yuri looking up once she gets close enough. She offers her a warm smile, the sight of it giving Minju a similar feeling to what the sunlight had. She reaches out a hand, which Minju easily takes, crouching down next to her with their fingers still interlaced.  _

_ “Look,” Yuri points out to the water with her free hand, her fingertips shiny with the droplets that still cling to them. Her voice is something gentle, sating. Minju thinks that if Yuri talked for long enough she could just fall asleep to the sound. “You can see your reflection,”  _

_ Minju leans forward, following Yuri’s line of sight. In the slightly wavering surface, she can see a mirrored image of herself staring right back at her, copying her as she tilts her head. The reflected image looks identical to her, doing as she does, appearing as she does. She smiles when Minju smiles, reaches out in a similar fashion when Minju brushes her fingers against the cool surface. It wavers slightly, the reflection becoming slightly distorted, quivering before the water eventually comes to a still.  _

_ “Yours looks pretty,” Yuri murmurs next to her, resting her head on her shoulder. _

_ Minju watches, engrossed, as Yuri’s reflection does the same, Minju making eye contact with her through the water. She doesn’t know if this counts as her looking at Yuri or not, if they’re only looking at each other through their reflections.  _

_ “Yours does too,” Minju replies, taking note of how Yuri’s image too, looks practically identical to her.  _

_ Next to her, Yuri hums, a melodic sound that causes Minju to close her eyes just so that she can revel in it. “You’re right,” she sounds entranced. “It does,”  _

_ Minju rests her cheek on Yuri’s forehead, her hair soft against her skin, making her nuzzle into it. She watches idly as the last few remains of water droplets that were clinging to the pads of her fingers drip off of them, falling into the grains of sand and disappearing into them. “Your voice sounds really nice today,”  _

_ Yuri laughs gently. “Today?” _

_ “Everyday. Always,” she pauses, and then- “Can you sing for me?” _

_ Yuri doesn’t respond for a moment or two, and Minju begins to think that she was perhaps too distracted to have even heard her. But then, she feels the way Yuri’s shoulders rise, and hears her take in a slow breath.  _

_ Yuri’s singing voice is lovely. _

_ It’s something mellow, comforting, and with the first couple of words Minju finds her eyes fluttering shut again. She loves the feeling of the girl’s shoulders rising and falling as she inhales and exhales, loves how she can feel her breath breaking on the underside of her jaw. She loves the sunlight on her skin, the brush of water beneath her fingertips, the sand beneath her feet- _

_ Everything. _

_ Minju lets out a soft sigh. _

_ Everything is perfect. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The brick of the wall is tough beneath Minju’s palm, its irregular surface cutting into her as she presses her back up against it, gripping tight at Yuri’s sleeve and tugging her close into her side, forcing her to do the same. The dark shadows of the alleyway hide both of their figures, Minju only just about able to make out the high points of her face, but they do nothing to hide their heavy breaths. The way Minju’s muscles are convulsing beneath her skin, adrenaline peaked, tongue heavy in her mouth along with the strong tang of blood.

She can taste it, she can smell it. It’s fucking everywhere, it’s- her hands are coated with the stuff, slippery and glinting menacingly in the barely-there light. She ignores it, tries to regain her breath, tipping her head back and not caring how the jagged surface of the bricks cut into her scalp. 

Yuri, next to her, is shaking too, shoulders rising and falling at a rapid pace and her breath loud in Minju’s ears. A soft whimper spills past her lips, and Minju tugs urgently at the ruined fabric of her sleeve, exhorting her to be quiet. 

The screams coming from the streets are blood-curdling.

The sounds of them make Minju’s teeth water, animalistic, desperate things, wailing with despair that runs goosebumps across her skin. They’re paired with another type of sound, one that Minju can’t even begin to describe - something inhuman, something nowhere near sane. Guttural, snarling noises that gurgle and froth, like if you paired the squawking of a parrot with the bite of a rottweiler. 

More noises. More noises that Minju wishes she didn’t know how to identify. Squelching and snapping, ripping and tearing. She wants to plug up her ears, wants to close her eyes, but nothing works. She sees it all even when her eyelids have fallen, hears it all even with her palms by her temples. 

Eventually, the screaming ceases, and all that’s left is hungered growling. Stalking footsteps begin to move away from them, and Minju lets out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. She lets go of Yuri’s sleeve, cursing softly, and bends down to place her hands on her knees, the slickness of her palms making it difficult to grip. Both because of blood and sweat. 

She blinks rapidly, trying to get her hair out of her eyes, not wanting to touch her face with her hands. “Are you-” she wets her lips, not even aware of how dry they’d become. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

It takes Yuri a moment or two, and Minju waits, knowing she’s just as exhausted and as petrified as she is. Eventually, she’s getting a hum of decline. “No,” she responds. Her voice is tired sounding, her words aquiver like she’s driving on a bumpy road. “No as in, I’m not hurt,” she clarifies. “But yeah, I’m okay,” 

“Sure?” Minju has to check.

“Positive,” Yuri replies. It takes her a moment, but then she’s speaking up again, voice rough around the edges. “You’re not though,”

Minju turns to look up at her. Yuri’s face is streaked with grime, her short, choppy grey hair stuck to her face with perspiration. There’s bruises blooming on her pale skin, slashed with small cuts that ooze weak spurts of blood from when the scabs have been reopened. “What?”

Yuri lets out a weak sort of a laugh, not sounding humoured in the slightest. She reaches out weakly, and brushes her fingertips against Minju’s shoulder.

Minju lets out a sharp hiss, biting her tongue, when a red-hot flare of pain wracks through her. She reaches up on instinct to hold her shoulder, stumbling a little when she’s thrown off balance. She cranes her neck to look at it, and feels her throat run dry.

Three slash marks had ripped through her skin, the fabric of her shirt in shreds, the matted edges soaked through with her own blood. They’re not too deep or too wide, thank  _ fuck _ , but they’re nasty looking. Shit, she’d been so fucking pumped with adrenaline she hadn’t even felt anything. One of those- of those _ things _ must've clawed at her shoulders during their attempt at escaping. Minju tears her gaze away from it, the sight of bloodied, open flesh still enough to make her queasy. 

“Shit,” she lets her head rest against the wall again, only just about able to prevent her knees from buckling beneath her. It’s not the pain that’s getting to her head, she can handle that - but this is only going to slow them down further. Another thing to worry about, another thing they need to take care of. 

“Yah,” Yuri gives her a gentle shove. “I know what you’re thinking, stop. It’s not your fault,”

Minju presses her lips together. She nods her head along, even if she doesn’t agree. Even if she’d say the exact same to Yuri if she were in her position. “Yeah,” 

Yuri reaches out to hold her arm, a gentle touch, going nowhere near her shoulder this time around. “Does it hurt?” her voice becomes a bit softer, sounding genuinely concerned.

Minju shakes her head insistently, taking her hand off her knee and straightening up. “No,” even if it did, she wouldn’t admit it. “I’ve got too much- too much adrenaline. But if I start to think about it too much I-”

She’s cut off by Yuri’s hand being clamped over her mouth. Maybe before, she would’ve let out a cry of surprise, but now, her first instinct is to shut up. Stop talking.

Don’t make a fucking sound.

One of  _ them _ is standing by the entrance of the alleyway.

Minju stares at it, muscles tenses, breathing into Yuri’s palm. Its skin is pale, laced with thick blood vessels that run the colour black, protruding from the flesh like they’re trying to break free of their confines. Its lips are bitten off entirely, fleshy remains around its mouth baring broken yellow teeth, stained with red that drips onto the gravel beneath them. Its posture is unnatural, almost like that of a spider; limbs bent and poised and head tilted at an awkward angle to the side. It doesn’t have any hair, all of it having fallen off, and its clothes are now no more than shredded, tattered remains that hang aimlessly from its body. 

Muscles that would have once worked eyelids now move uselessly, causing a sickening squelching noise to reverberate around inside Minju’s head. They don’t have eyes - none of them do - just bloodied sockets and snapped threads of nerves and blood vessels. Even though they don’t have eyes, Minju  _ feels _ like it’s staring at her, with the way it slowly tilts its head and further bends its legs, that squelching sound resounding again. A low, gurgling sound comes from somewhere in its throat, the blood pooling in its mouth bubbling like it's reached a boil.

_ It can’t see you. It can only hear you. It can’t see you, it can’t see you, it can’t- _

Doesn’t fucking matter. Minju can see it. And no matter how many of these fucking things she sees, they never fail to make bile rise in her throat, her stomach churning with a sickening mixture of disgust and sheer  _ terror. _

Her and Yuri both stay entirely still, and in any other situation, where she’s always so used to the steady rise and fall of her shoulders, Minju would think she were dead. They don’t make a single sound, and eventually, it decides that there’s nothing. 

Minju doesn’t really know what to call it. She supposes they’re sort of like zombies, but they’re entirely different to the ones you’d see in movies.

These ones… they’re just dreamers. 

Yuri releases her hold on her once it’s gone, muttering a quiet “Sorry,”

Minju waves a hand at her weakly. “No, it’s okay. It could’ve gotten us otherwise,”

More silence between them, not awkward or tense, just them both recovering from the sheer amount of energy they’d exerted in such a short space of time. Minju can tell that Yuri’s thinking, about what she can’t be entirely sure, but she can tell that her mind is racing a mile a minute. She’s debating on whether or not to ask her about it, before Yuri’s letting out another one of those wry laughs. 

“I’m fucking exhausted,”

She doesn’t just mean in a physical sense. She means in every sense of the word. 

Minju wants to save her from it. Wants to find her a place where the both of them can just breathe, where they can  _ live _ , but they’ve been searching for so long that she’s starting to lose hope.

But she can’t let Yuri know that, she can’t let on that she’s becoming weak. Because once one of them falls, the other will too. 

So, all she can reply with is a mumbled “Me too,”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ No matter how far Minju walks, she doesn’t seem to move any further. _

_ Her feet pad along the grass, sinking into the soil, sunlight warm on her face. She keeps walking, picking up her pace, but the sun stays at the same, high point in the sky, and the lake never moves from its position behind her.  _

_ Either she’s not moving any further, or the landscape is moving with her. _

_ She wants to explore, she wants more, but there’s nothing more to this than an endless cycle of rolling green hills and a quiet, winding stream.  _

_ Stood atop the hill, her back to Yuri, Minju drops to her knees with exhaustion, the fabric of her dress clenched in between her fists. Her legs ache, and she lets out a soft breath. Looking out, at the stretch of green that goes on and on until it reaches the saturated blue of the horizon… it almost doesn’t look real. It’s perfect, Minju  _ knows _ it is, but it’s almost too good to be true.  _

_ Tentatively, she reaches out with one hand, before withdrawing it just as gingerly. She hesitates for a moment, holding a debate with herself inside her head within the span of a couple of seconds, before she’s pressing her lips together and reaching before she can convince herself otherwise. _

_ She doesn’t quite know how to describe what she sees. She doesn’t even know if she’d seen it at all, with how fast it is. But she must have, she can’t have imagined it. _

_ Even if it was just for a fraction of a second, she’d touched upon something she knows she wasn’t supposed to have done. Beneath her fingertips, the reality in front of her had bent, the green of the hills and the blue of the sky becoming twisted, like they were nothing more than colours on a palette that she’d run her fingers through.  _

_ Though, just as fast, she’s retracting her arm like she’d been burned, and when she blinks, the scenery has returned to normal. When she reaches out a second time, her hand just passes through midair, reaching out for something that isn’t there. _

_ Minju’s grip finds refuge in the fabric of the skirt of her dress again, something sick twisting in the pit of her stomach. She wasn’t supposed to see that, she- that  _ definitely _ hadn’t been for her eyes.  _

_ Gathering herself to her feet, the aching in her legs is forgotten. She runs away from the hill’s peak, down its incline, rushed with the aid of gravity. Yuri is sat by the edge of the lake, running her fingers through the water and singing softly to herself, blissfully unaware. At the sight of her, Minju’s heart calms itself down almost like an instinct, and she runs to her side, pushing what she’d just witnessed to the back of her mind. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_SATIATE_ **

“I want to go back!” Yuri shrieks at her, the sound of glass shattering echoing around them, followed by the soft tinkling of the individual shards falling to the ground. Yuri’s skin is bleeding with overly-saturated tones, pinks and blues and purples from the gaudy neon signs that ooze into the cramped garage from outside. The lights paired with the pitch black darkness of the garage sharpen her features, almost making her ghastly looking, totally unlike the girl that Minju is so used to seeing. 

Then again, she doesn’t think either of them have looked like themselves for a long time. She isn’t really too sure what either of them are supposed to look like, anymore. 

“I want to go back, now!” Yuri shrills, her voice breaking on her last word. “I can’t fuh-fucking take it anymore!”

Minju reaches out, clamping her hands down on Yuri’s shoulders, trying to calm her down. The stench of drink that had been in the bottle Yuri had thrown at the wall mixes in with the usual permeation of blood, a sour odour that makes Minju’s eyes water. Yuri struggles against her hold, but Minju persists, trying her best to keep her still. They’re both drunk, hell, they nearly always are, because nothing really matters anymore. Nothing else can subdue the pain, nothing else that’s readily available in an environment like this. 

Minju doesn’t bother filtering out the desperation in her voice when she speaks, practically  _ begging  _ her at this stage. “That place was killing you! We didn’t know it, but we were fucking  _ dying _ , Yul!”

“So what!?” Yuri spits at her, lips curled into a snarl, gaze sharp. “We’re dying here too,” she sweeps her hand around, a jagged movement, and gives Minju an expectant look. “You think we’re living? You call this  _ living _ , Minju?” her lips tremble threateningly, eyes gleaming with all those colours that flood in from outside. 

Minju stares at her, grip on her shoulders loosening unknowingly. She opens and closes her mouth repeatedly, but no sound comes out. Yuri doesn’t make any effort to save her from the silence, glare just as hard, just as merciless.

They’ve been searching for so long. For somewhere, somewhere where they can live, but-

“It will end,” Minju finally manages to force the words out. “Everything, this will all end. I promise you,” 

In the dark, Minju can’t tell if Yuri believes her or not. They look at one another, for a couple more moments, before Yuri’s hanging her head. Her shoulders slouch, and Minju feels her muscles going lax once more beneath her skin. She exhales slowly, running a hand through her hair. “I’m sorry,” the way she says it, Minju can tell it’s sincere. “I’m so sorry, I-” her voice breaks, and she cuts herself off, a hand flying up to cover her mouth. 

“ _ Yuri, _ ” Minju breathes out, and instantly wraps her arms around her, drawing her in close. She can feel the way she quivers against her, so she threads a hand through her hair in an attempt to soothe her. Yuri’s shorter than her, so her breath tickles at Minju’s neck, an irregular pattern that she can tell Yuri’s doing her best to even out. 

“It’s not your fault,” Yuri utters by her skin, responding in kind by wrapping an arm around Minju’s waist loosely. “It’s not your fault, I don’t know why I-”

“It’s okay,” Minju speaks into her hair. It smells smoky, irony. “It’s hard, it’s- I know, we’re both struggling,” she rubs at Yuri’s back when she hears her breath stammer again. 

“I’m so lucky I’ve got you,” Yuri doesn’t really sound like she’s bothering to hold back the emotion in her voice now. “If I- if I-”

Minju shushes her gently, carding her fingers through her hair. “No ifs,” she cuts her off with a soft tone. “We’ve got each other, that’s all we need. We can keep going if we’ve got each other. And right now, we do, so that means we need to keep going. We can’t focus on anything other than that,” 

She feels the way Yuri nods, feels her curl into her a little more, like if she does so enough then everything around her will disappear. Minju can feel her blood pumping through her veins with their proximity, much,  _ much  _ too fast for what it ever should be.

Yuri’s voice is quiet when she speaks. “It’ll end?”

_ Ah _ .

Minju smiles bitterly to herself. She really hates lying.

“One day,” she promises her. “It’ll all end, one day,” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Minju feels bitter. _

_ It’s a strange sensation, because she’s not all too sure why. She’s not  _ supposed _ to feel like this; the sun warming her skin is meant to bring her joy, and it regularly does, so why now there’s something distasteful on her tongue she doesn’t understand. And that only brings her blood to a further boil.  _

_ She’s sitting on the opposite side of the lake to Yuri, the sweet lilt of the other girl’s voice being carried across the water. Yuri is singing an aimless tune, running her fingers through the water, a small smile playing on her lips from where her chin is propped up on her palm. She looks completely at ease, not a single shroud of doubt in her mind, sated in pure bliss.  _

_ Despite herself, something ugly unfurls in Minju’s stomach. Why should she get to be like that, act like that, while Minju’s left with all these conflicting emotions that she doesn’t even know the source of? That she doesn’t even know how to name? _

_ Ever since she noticed that small tear in this reality they’re in, a rip in the fabrication, there’s been a tick in the back of her mind that she can’t get rid of.  _

_ Clicking her tongue, she removes her fists from where she’d dug them into the sand, the only way for her to stop her nails from cutting crimson crescents into her palms. The grains cling to her skin, so she reaches out to dip them into the water to clean them.  _

_ When she catches sight of her reflection, she hesitates.  _

_ She shifts so that she’s on her knees, so that she can lean in closer. Her reflection does the same, moves when Minju moves, able to see her own expression in the way the image shifts.  _

_ Except that’s not what she looks like. _

_ Minju feels bitter, and it shows on her face. She knows it. She knows that her lip is curled in distaste, her brow pinched together, she can just feel it. But, her reflection has an expression similar to Yuri’s - a dreamy sort of smile, a clouded, fixated gaze. Minju stares at it, taken aback, and tries deepening her frown. She feels the way the skin on her forehead creases, but the reflection in the water doesn’t change.  _

_ Not all too sure what overcomes her, Minju plunges her hands into the water to rid them of the sand as quick as she can, the ebbing ripples causing the image to falter slightly. She wipes them on the fabric of her skirt hastily, gaze completely honed in on her reflection.  _

_ She’s not all too sure why she does it, but she does it anyway.  _

_ She reaches up with one hand, and places her palm over one of her eyes. At first, there’s nothing, and she begins to wonder why such an urge overcame her, but just like when she’d torn through the fabricated reality, something shifts within an instance. Her image distorts, although not in the same way it would when it’s hit by ripples in the water. It changes entirely - her hair is no longer a warm brown, but an ebony black, her skin whitening to gossamer. The expression is like what she’d thought she was wearing, but there’s something more sinister about it - black eyes glinting with malice, scheming, lips stained dark and upturned just slightly. Running like tear tracks down her cheeks are black markings, inscriptions, characters that Minju doesn’t understand. The reflection stares at her, gaze cold and untamed, filled with almost a  _ hunger.

_ The sight of it causes Minju to inhale sharply, the rate of her heart picking up to a mile a minute. Unlike before, however, the sight of it doesn’t disappear when she blinks her eyes. It stays, peering at her like it’s trying to see into her very soul, writhing in the water like it’s trying to break free.  _

_ When she takes her hand away from her eye, the other reflection returns. Calm, peaceful. _

_ When she puts her hand over her eye again, it shifts once more.  _

_ Shaken, and tongue heavy in her mouth, Minju shuffles away from the water’s edge, burrying both of her hands into the sand again. Her breathing has quickened, becoming irregular without even realising, and she stares at the still surface of the water like it’s about to come alive any second now.  _

_ She blinks rapidly, shaking her head. The image of that second reflection has been burned into her head, with its dark eyes and its amused, sinister expression.  _

_ Her throat runs dry. _

_ That’s what she really looks like. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Ah,” Yuri lets out a soft wince, face scrunching up in obvious pain, Minju retracting her touch almost immediately. Yuri seems to sense her hesitance almost immediately, so she reaches up and takes a hold of Minju’s hand, bringing it back to the cut on her shoulder. They’d both laughed when they’d first seen it - or as much as they can given the situation that they’re in. It’s almost identical to the claw marks Minju’s got on her own shoulder, now rouch and itchy with thick layers of scab, still hot underneath even after a week or so. It’s hard to keep up with time, the coming and going of different wounds really being their only indication. It’s constantly dark, constantly bathed in inky blackness accented by garish lights that are too harsh for their eyes.

“Keep going,” Yuri reassures her, voice low. “Don’t listen to me, I’m alright,”

Minju presses her lips together, cotten ball giving way beneath her grip, soaked in harsh rubbing alcohol that she’s been dabbing as delicately as she can at Yuri’s wound. The gashes are slightly wider than the one’s Minju’s got, although not as deep. Minju had managed to clean up most of the blood, washing it off her hands the moment she was done, not able to stand the sight of it on her hands knowing that it’s Yuri’s. 

They’re locked in a bathroom, with three cracked stalls and a smell so pungent in the air Minju can practically taste it, but the water actually runs and neither of them were about to pass up that opportunity. Yuri’s sitting on the edge of the toilet seat while Minju tends to her wounds - it’s not the ideal place but they’ve both had to accept the hard way that such a place isn’t coming anytime soon. 

If it even exists. 

Minju sets down the alcohol once she’s done, and she sees relief flood Yuri’s eyes. Even if she hadn’t wanted to let it on to Minju, Minju had been able to tell that she’d been in pain. She wraps a bandage around Yuri’s shoulder - tightly, to compress it, but with care - and secures it in place with a pin. 

Yuri looks down at their first aid kit, which is now practically empty. She shoots Minju a sharp look. “Was that-” she looks back to the kit, and then to Minju again. “Was that the last of the bandages?”

Minju presses her lips together. She had hoped Yuri wouldn’t have noticed, knowing that she’d feel guilty about it no matter how much Minju reassured her of otherwise. “They’re there to be used, Yul,” she replies quietly.

Yuri slouches. “I could’ve done without them,” she mutters. “We could’ve saved them for something else,”

Minju crouches down, so that they’re at eye level. She takes Yuri’s chin in her hold, making her look at her. “You were _ hurt _ ,” she says it with sincerity. “Are you saying that if I were in your position, you wouldn’t use them on me?”

Yuri’s hand flies up to hold her wrist, eyes widening almost comically. “No, I-”

“Exactly,” Minju nods in affirmation. “We can’t afford to think about the future, or the past. All we can focus on is the now,” she gestures at Yuri’s shoulder with her chin. “And right now, you’re as good as you can be. That’s all I care about,” 

Yuri doesn’t make any effort at a response, but she smooths her thumb over the skin of Minju’s wrist, and Minju takes that as enough. Minju shuffles a little closer to her, leans forward slightly, but makes no further movement. Her eyes flick up to meet Minju’s again, a silent question. 

And because Minju’s never really going to ever be able to deny her anything, she nods. 

Everything that they do is rushed. There’s no time for breaks or for rest, everything happens so fast and sometimes Minju thinks she can’t keep up.

So when Yuri kisses her, she kisses her slow.

It’s gentle, soft, barely-there touches and shuddered sighs and Minju drinks in every last bit of it. It’s anchoring, she thinks, a reminder that amidst the harshness and the hardships that they’ve no choice but to face, there’s something delicate and raw amidst it all. 

She kisses Yuri until she runs out of breath, and then they’re bothing going back for more. And after everything that’s happened and everything that’s still to come, Minju thinks she’s got the right to be a little greedy.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_LIFELIKE_ **

  
  


_ “You’re acting funny,” _

_ Minju looks up at Yuri drowsily, to see the other girl looking at her with a pinched expression. Her eyes aren’t honed in on her reflection, for once, and it’s a rather surreal experience. Though, it ends just as soon as it’s starting, and Yuri’s looking back at her reflection again.  _

_ Minju lets out a soft sigh. “What do you mean?” she asks, though she thinks she already knows the answer.  _

_ Yuri shrugs, looking like she’s already lost interest in the topic of conversation, dipping the tips of her fingers into the water again. “I don’t know, I guess,” _

_ Minju bites the inside of her cheek, staring at the side of Yuri’s face. “Can I show you something?” _

_ Yuri offers an airy hum as a reply.  _

_ Minju moves a little closer to her, and begins to raise her palm to Yuri’s face. Yuri doesn’t react at all, doesn’t seem to care, until she seems to notice that Minju’s hand will obstruct her view. She bats it away sharply, giving her an incredulous look. “What’s wrong with you?” she bites out, in a tone Minju’s never heard her use before. “What are you doing?” _

_ Minju frowns right back at her. “Can I not just show you something?” she raises her hand again, but Yuri moves away from it again, flinching almost violently.  _

_ She shakes her head, looking almost frightening. “Minju, please-” _

_ “I have to show you,” Minju insists, gathering herself to her feet. “You- you have to see this,” _

_ Yuri blubbers pitifully, still shaking her head. She’s so- so  _ obsessed _ with what she sees in that lake, so overome by the version of herself that she’s become so used to seeing, that she physically can’t look away from it for more than a few seconds. She repeats Minju’s name over and over, and even though it hurts her to hear her saying it like that, Minju just blocks it out. _

_ She grapples with her, for a couple moments, Yuri kicking and shrieking at her, clawing at her skin like a cat being strangled in an alleyway, but eventually, Minju manages to clamp one of her hands over her eye. With difficulty, and Minju screaming in her ear, she forces her to look at her reflection in the water, and all at once, Yuri stills. _

_ Her muscles go lax beneath her skin, and Minju regains her breath. She turns her head away from the surface, not wanting to see. Not wanting to see what Yuri truly looks like, after all the time they’ve spent here.  _

_ It’s quiet, save for the heavy sounds of their own breathing, and Minju feels Yuri start to shake.  _

_ Minju presses her lips together, and really, they have no other option. “We have to leave,” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Minju slams the door shut behind her, the animalistic growls and shrieks fresh in her ears, the banging against the metal shutter thrumming through her body. She presses her back up against it, letting out a slow breath, eyes squeezed shut and heart racing way too fast.

That had been close - too close.

“Sh-shit,” Minju watches as Yuri stumbles further inside, and instantly picks up that something is severely wrong. Her steps are wonky, crooked, legs wobbly until they give way and she’s crumpling to the floor in a heap. She’s gripping onto her forearm, eyes scrunched up in pain, mouth open in a silent scream.

Minju’s eyes travel down to her arm, and as fast as her heart had been beating, it takes no time at all for it to stop entirely. 

Yuri’s been bit.

It’s nothing like a graze, or a shallow slash, this - Minju feels something coming up her throat, and her gaze begins to shift in and out of seeing double. A chunk of flesh has been ripped out of Yuri’s forearm, clearly a bite with the indents made by teeth, but it’s like the entirety of one of those thing’s jaws had clamped down, both sets of teeth driving through fresh and muscle and tissue to meet, and then withdrawing with everything in between. There’s blood - so much fucking blood and Yuri is _ coated _ in it pumping a steady stream from the gaping hole and onto her clothes, the floor. 

Minju stumbles. No, it’s not real. That’s not fucking real.

But it _ is _ . It’s _ real _ and it’s _ there _ and Yuri is in fucking _ agony  _ and-

And Minju can do fuck all about it. It’s done. It’s over. 

Faint sounds gurgle from Yuri’s lips, words Minju can’t decipher. She’s trying to say something and Minju can’t help her.

“Cuh…” Yuri sucks in a sharp breath of air through her teeth, a noise ripping through her throat that Minju doesn’t want to think about. “Cover your eyes,” she finally manges to get it out, but her words are slurred, melding together. “You have to cover your eyes,”

It takes Minju a moment or two to figure out just what the hell she’s being told, and the insistent banging coming from outside isn’t making things any easier. The loud shrieks and screams piercing her ears bring on a pounding headache, and she grits her teeth. Her movements are sluggish, and with her lack of response, Yuri raises her voice at her. “Cover your eyes, Minju!” she yells over the sounds of fists pounding on metal. “We don’t know how long it takes, I’m not-” she cuts herself off with a painted grunt, shoulders contorting into an unnatural position as she doubles over. 

Minju’s body just moves on it’s own, mind totally absent. She scrambles over to their supply chest, heaving it open and rummaging around inside. Her fingers close around a shirt, not caring about whose it is, and takes it out, fingers fumbling with it because of how much she’s shaking.

_ Before they turn, they descend into madness. They bite off their own lips, rip out their own eyes. Anyone who witnesses it is overcome with the urge to do the same. If you ever see someone turning,  _ run.

Minju can’t run. They’re surrounded, an entire mob of them outside, no other way out other than the door they’d just come through. 

She sits down, legs not able to support her anymore, back against the far wall. She places the shirt over her eyes and stretches it, tying it at the back of her head after failing the first couple tries. Her vision is plunged into complete, utter darkness, and her breath rattles when she exhales. Cupping a hand over her mouth, she shakes her head over and over, feeling her eyelashes growing damp with the tears she can’t shed. Everything becomes overwhelmingly loud; the banging on the door, nails scraping against metal, those inhumane screams of hunger, Yuri’s cries of pain. 

“Yuri,” she blubbers, the reality of the situation hitting her like a truck. She doesn’t think Yuri can hear her, doesn’t know if she _ can  _ hear her. She keeps on shaking her head, because she just- she  _ can’t. “Yuri-ah,” _

_ They see dreadful things, before they turn. Monstrous things that we can’t even begin to fathom. Cast even just a look at them and you’ll end up seeing them too.  _

Minju swallows down the food in her throat that threatens to come up, and moves her hands to her ears to block out the noises, curling her knees into her chest.

Yuri’s been bitten.

She’s been bitten, and she’s going to turn.

There’s no hope left, now. All their hope is gone.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yuri begins to see monstrous things, late into the night. Minju can’t see, but she can tell by what she hears. Those things outside, they hear too, and as long as they hear something that can quench their thirst for human blood, they won’t go away.

The screams Yuri’s letting out are gutteral. They rip raw through her throat, painful sounding, but no matter how much it sounds like it’s hurting her Yuri doesn’t stop. Rapid breathes too, panting, an almost hungered snarling, sounds that begin to sound more and more akin to the ones that come from outside.

Even though she knows Yuri can’t hear her, Minju keeps calling out her name through pitiful sobs that she just can’t seem to stop. She doesn’t move from her spot - doesn’t  _ dare _ move a muscle, but just keeps calling out to her in vain even though she knows nothing’s going to happen.

Except for one time. One time, Yuri responds. 

“Minju,” like before, Minju’s name is slurred. The sound of something spattering to the ground comes with it, but it goes unheard to Minju, only focusing on Yuri’s uttering of her name.

She sits up straighter, hope filling her chest like she’s been pumped full of helium. “Y-Yuri?” 

“Minju,” rapid footsteps, too quick. “ _ Minju-yah _ ,” Yuri’s next to her, touching her. Her skin isn’t soft like before, it’s rough, almost scaled, and frighteningly cold. Yuri’s hands close around hers gripping onto them tight, and then she’s raising them. She places Minju’s hands over her closed eyes, Minju able to feel the way Yuri’s irises are darting rapidly beneath her shut lids. 

Yuri’s voice is rasped when she speaks. “Take them out,”

Minju’s blood runs cold. 

Yuri’s fingers rest atop Minju’s, almost like she’s wearing a glove, and places the slightest amount of pressure. Minju can just about feel Yuri’s eyeballs giving way beneath the delicate touch, and sharply, she’s moving her hands away from Yuri’s face, clenching her fists. “I-I-”

“ _ Please _ ,” Yuri’s voice, while not sounding entirely like Yuri’s anymore, is filled with desperation. “Please, _ take them out _ ,”

Minju shakes her head, over and over, tears soaking through the shirt over her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” her voice breaks into a whisper. “I’m so sorry,”

Yuri keeps begging her,  _ imploring  _ her, and no matter how much it pains her Minju can’t do anything other than deny her continuously, something she’d never thought she’d have to do - be able to do. 

But, eventually, Yuri stops, and Minju holds her breath. She hears her breath in, slowly, softly, and she moves from one side of Minjur to the other. She’s so quiet that Minju wonders if she’s still even there anymore, but she doesn’t let go of the breath she’s holding. 

Then, a feather light kiss is pressed to the underside of her jaw.

Minju breaks, completely taken aback, letting out a sharp exhale that forces her to press her lips together. Inside their sockets, her eyes go wide, wondering if it’s so late into the night that her mind is beginning to play tricks on her. But Yuri’s lips on her jaw are very much  _ real, _ they’re  _ there. _

Minju shifts in discomfort, but at the same time, Yuri’s lips are a welcomed sensation. They’re something familiar, amidst the sheer insanity that they’ve both been plunged into, and Minju can’t do anything other than welcome them. Despite herself, she melts into Yuri’s touch, whispering her name again softly.

“Minju,” Yuri speaks into her skin lowly, and again, it doesn’t quite sound like her, but Minju doesn’t think she cares. “Minju-yah,” keeps saying her name, over and over again. Her thumb slips beneath the hem of her shirt, stroking the skin there soothingly in the same way she always would before. Her other hand slides up Minju’s face, where one two slender fingers curl around the shirt tied over her eyes.

_ “You’ll take this off for me, won’t you?” _

The question should be jarring. Minju should be forcing herself away from her, because this isn’t Yuri speaking, not really. Not  _ her _ Yuri, anyway. But…

It’s so tempting, having Yuri touching her. Having her soothing voice in her ears. And really there’s no hope left for them. They’ve been searching, for who only knows how long, and they’ve been rewarded with nothing.

She’d lied, all those times. There is no end.

There’s no such thing as Utopia.

So, when Yuri asks her, it’s impossible this time for Minju to say no.

  
  
  
  


She reaches up with one hand, and unties the knot that holds the blindfold over her eyes.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**In the end, they couldn’t find the Utopia that they dreamed of.**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ayy that's that mess done and over with, thank you so so much for reading!! if you enjoyed, a kudos/comment would be very much appreciated ^-^ until next time!! <3
> 
> [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/glitzyena)  
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/glitzyena)


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